So it’s late, and my usual sleeping methods aren’t working as of yet (ya get me boys and girls?) I’m restlessly itching to bear my soul to the world again. It doesn’t sound very sane when put like that, does it?
I need to sort my life out. (I think I may have said that before..)
But really, I’m in need of some order, and some peace. The problem is; the fact that I’ve never really experienced either of those things makes them completely unattainable. Shame..
So after struggling to start writing an essay, I’ve been lying awake, wishing for rest, waiting for peace. And I feel useless, I really do, there’s not a lot I can think of to use my time constructively right now.
Someone asked me today ‘what are you running from?’ Good fucking question, I don’t know. And when I tried to answer it myself, I only found more questions. But that, as we all know, is what always happens when one thinks too much. I’m anxious, and restless, and I always have been. I’m out for meaning, like the best of us, peace, love, happiness.. All that. But am I getting anywhere, or am I just walking into spiderwebs? I don’t know.
I can’t do this forever, I’ll need a big delicious breakdown after a while. (But actually, I'll be fine.)
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